Arguments may have evoked threats of separation or divorce. Many couples find themselves verbally pushing hot buttons, making assumptions, accusations and expressing suspicion. But when do you know it is really time to go your separate ways? How do you make it clear to your partner that the arguments are over and you are resolute in your decision to legally divorce?
It can be a painful time to face the destroyed state of your relationship and feel there is no hope re-building it, especially if you have already sought counseling and therapy services. The mental process of divorce can last long after the legal process is finalized. You may feel a push and pull towards and away from this person, depending on the memories and the moments you cherish and wish to feel again.
Questions to ask yourself before raising the divorce talk to your spouse:
Here are some questions you might want to think about before you approach your spouse with divorce papers or raise the topic in all seriousness. When you make an emotionally charged decision, you can move forward half blind towards your intended outcome. It is better to fully analyze and prepare yourself for the decision you are about to make.
Do you have peace about getting a divorce? – If you don’t feel peace about getting divorced, it may not be the best thing or the right timing. You should always tune into your intuition when it comes to making major decisions like divorce.
Are you prepared for divorce financially and logistically? – Are you ready now to divorce? Do you feel prepared for the financial setback you might encounter? Are you ready to enter the workforce if you have been a stay at home parent? You need to have a financial plan in place as well as consider the logistics of where will you move and how will you adjust to single life once again?
What is your plan for your children? Do you anticipate cooperation when it comes to making custody arrangements? – Consider how your children will react and what their questions and feelings will be. It is good to prepare yourself with your plan for custody and school involvement and arrangement. Your spouse will likely raise the question of your children when you begin discussing divorce.
Divorce is a huge life adjustment for everyone, especially any children involved. The more you anticipate questions and think carefully about your plan and vision for your future, the better. Raising a serious discussion on divorce is not easy. However, it helps when you have done your homework and you feel peace about your decision.